Blue And Yellow

Quinn Allman POV
Lyrics from Blue and Yellow by The Used
And it's all in how you mix the two,
And it starts just where the light exists.
It's a feeling that you cannot miss,
And it burns a hole,
Through everyone that feels it.

I sat there, intaking the smell of hospital, I had always attempted to keep far from these. Where everything smelled too clean, and the sheets smelled like blood on a chlorinated overdose. I ran my hand worriedly across my light bleached hair. Bert looking at me weakly, managing to keep his barely eyes open. He was still beautiful. His dark black hair against the perfect endless crisp white hospital sheets. He didn't deserve to be there, dying. But I rather not think about what was coming, I wanted to stay at this moment in time, where I still had him. I knew he wasn't going to be with us much longer. I turned to Jepha, who's eyes were wide, and cheeks tear stained. Then I turned to Dan, who sat in a far off corner, away from us all. Who's bottom lip quivered, and who's eyes had become cold, and stone. We all sat here, silently wishing we could take Bert far away, we could give him our life, but we knew it wasn't possible. I would've given the world to see Bert stand, to see him laugh.

Well you're never gonna find it,
If you're looking for it,
Won't come your way,yeah
Well you'll never find it,
If your looking for it. (looking for it)

"Quinn" Jepha mumbled, heading out the door. We had watched Berts health deteriorate. Smoking was a bad habit, we were all aware of what I could do to a person. But we had laughed it off, swearing Bert was immortal, nothing would ever hurt him. We were wrong, gravely wrong.

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking,
Rather waste some time with you.

Jepha was gone, to deal with the pain his own way. I knew Dan would stand up soon, and disappear. I was the one person who insisted in being here all the time. Who insisted that Bert would be better. But I was wrong. Dan no longer cried, he had ran out of tears too long ago. And Jepha knew this was all coming, and he had his own ways to dealing with loosing our bestfriend. But all I could do was sit here and cry. Sit here and die with him.

And you never would have thought in the end,
How amazing it feels just to live again,
It's a feeling that you cannot miss,
It burns a hole, through everyone that feels it.
Well you're never gonna find it,
If you're looking for it, won't come your way, yeah
Well you'll never find it, if you're looking for it. (looking for it)
Should've done something, but I've done it enough.

"Quinn" he mumbled softly, and I was instantly at his side. Grasping his hand in an attempt to never let go, never let him go. His grasp was weak, and I knew this was all literally killing him. And I wanted the pain to go away.
"Tell me Bert" I mumbled, my voice breaking. I didn't want him to hear my pain, knowing it would only make it worse.
"Quinn my body hurts. It all hurts. When will this end" he asked, with such strain in his voice. His eyes filled with pain.
"Bert, don't say that. Hang in there" I said, sobbing loudly. He raised his arms slowly, wiping away my tears. It was terrifying, how he laid there wiping my tears away. Managing to be the most beautiful person I had ever met.
"Sleep Bert. It'll all be alright. I promise" I said, kissing his weak pale hand. I loved him. He smiled weakly, that beautiful smile of his. The one I had grown to love.

By the way, your hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.
Should've said something, but I've said it enough.
By the way, my words were faded.
Rather waste some time with you.
(Time with you... time with you time with you
Waste some time with you... waste some time with you)

He closed his eyes, and I knew he was still alive, by the constant beat of the monitor behind me. I knew I could still see his beautiful eyes again. The room had grown quiet, the only evident sounds were the relieving beeps and the breaths Bert took. Each a fight made by his body to stay alive.
"Sir, would you like to disconnect life support" the doctor said. I took a look a Bert, how much had the person I adored change in such a short time. And I could feel the tears still pouring out of my eyes.

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking.
Rather waste my time with you.
Should've said something, but I've said it enough.
By the way, my words were faded.
Rather waste my time with you.

"Yes" I stated, looking at Bert. Who looked so beautiful. So peaceful. I missed the way he used to be. The person who I wanted to be near me every second of the time. Dan was staring at me, but I didn't care. I was baout to give up my own happiness to see him smile one more time.
"Bert" I said, tugging at the white sheet around him.
"You have five minutes to say goodbye to the patient" the doctor stated, looking down at the plastic floors.
"Jepha" dan said, standing and going to the door. Jepha walked in. They both kneeled by the bed. Bert was half awake.
"Bert" Jepha asked softly, Bert nodded painfully.
"You're the greatest. I love you dude" he said softly, wrapping his arms around him. Then standing up, and wiping a tear away before it could crawl down his skin.
"Dan" Bert mumbled, with a half smile. Dan squeezed his hand.
"Bert, this fucking sucks. See you on the other side. Nothing will ever be the same. I mean we knew it was coming but I didn't think it would hurt so much. You're the greatest friend" Dan said, I watched silently as the tears rolled down his face. It was my turn.

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, my hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.
Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...
(fading)

"Bert" I said softly, biting my lip to stop the sobs. He life his hand, running it across my skin. I took it in my hands and kissed his knuckles.
"Quinn" he mumbled weakly. And I put my finger on his lips. I could see he was suffering.
"Robert McCracken I love you" I said, managing to speak. I was choking slowly in my own tears.
"Quinn, I love you too" he said softly. Im sure he did not understand what I meant by that.
"Bert, I love you. More than anything in the world, more than myself" I stated boldly. He gently grabbed my blond hair, pressing me closer. Then he softly kissed my lips. Managing to smile weakly.
"I love you too Quinn Allman. More than anyone. Make me a promise" he said, suddenly filled with strength. And he looked so beautiful, like he had so long ago.
"I can't believe I've wasted all this time. I mean I though you didn't like guys. Robert McCracken I've loved you since the day we met. And now its over, for both of us" I said in a broken voice. Bert rapped his arms around me. He as always was still consoling me, when I should've been the one consoling him.
"No Quinn. Its over for me. Not you. Make me a promise, you'll be mine forever" he said softly, I nodded. Kissing his lips one more time. And I watched a tear crawl out of his eyes, slide down his face. And the moment the tear touched the perfect hospital sheets the beats coming from the machine stopped, and hit one long high note.

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, my hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you